Sexual+Role-Play

Kelsey Grandi

** Sexual Role-Play  **


 * What it is **:

Sexual Role-Play is the act of taking on a foreign identity prior to and/or while engaging in sexual behaviors. The persona one adopts can simply incorporate a general theme, or can involve a detailed fantasy, complete with costumes, props, and scripts.  Hospital fantasies are frequently as role-play scenarios ** Why Role-Play is Worth a Try: ** Sexual satisfaction has been shown to correlate with relationship satisfaction as a whole, as well as with love and commitment. Not only is sex an important component for married couples, but it also plays a large role in pre-marital relationships (Sprecher, 2002). Sexual satisfaction has shown to decrease over time, as dopamine levels diminish as we’re exposed to the same thing repeatedly (Danoff, 2007). Sex is no exception, and this generally exciting aspect of relationships can become predictable, monotonous, and boring. This dissatisfaction is also correlated with relationship termination, while satisfaction sexually can lead to good overall relationship quality (Sprecher, 2002). Role-play allows couples to spice up their love lives by incorporating new ways to experience the excitement of novel situations. Besides keeping things interesting in the bedroom, sexual role-play builds intimacy between partners, as noted by Brian Zamboni, Ph.D. (Danoff, 2007). Simply initiating a conversation about bringing role-play into the bedroom requires a significant amount of trust, and revealing intimate fantasies increases that trust while developing intimacy between the pair. In exercising the trust between a person and their partner, one is also able to push his or her boundaries sexually, perhaps trying something while in character they would never normally do (Cosmopolitan, 2010). By divulging secret desires, new communication pathways are opened and a couple can become more at ease initiating and sustaining conversations about a variety of personal topics. While trying new things and expanding sexual horizons, role-play is simply fun. Thinking up new scenarios to act out, analyzing characters, costumes, props, and settings sparks creativity and can even give new, playful meaning to phrases partners use (Fox News, 2010). By exploring alter egos in the bedroom, everyday comments may be turned into code words for a continuation of a previous scene, // ‘This is your third unexcused tardy and you know what that means…” //, bringing the sexual thrill into everyday life. ** Where to Start: ** For starters, couples should pick scenarios that have familiar characters they can connect with. Open, honest communication here is key. Acting out favorite steamy movie scenes can be one avenue, while taking on the persona of a frequent, uncomplicated fantasy offers another good place to start. It’s completely normal to feel silly at first, and some laughing while getting used to the idea is entirely okay; just try not to let it close off the dialogue. A good way to combat awkward pauses is to plan the encounter before enacting it, imagining what one’s character would do if they found themselves in various situations (Silverberg, 2009). While brainstorming role-play scenarios, make sure to consider who you each want to be, what and where the situation is taking place, how you can dress accordingly, and most importantly, what your character’s motivation is. Some other questions to consider involve what the history of each character is, what turns them on, what turns them off, what makes them crazy, etc. When choosing a setting, think not only of the physical setting, but the time of day, proximity to other people, and why your characters are there (Silverberg, 2009). Having these preliminary conversations with one’s partner is an important step, as each learns more about the other and how to satisfy them once the fantasy has begun. Before you start, make sure to set ground rules covering how far the scenario can go, and include code words that tell your partner to stop (Danoff, 2007). These are especially important for fantasies that incorporate risky or unusual behavior, including scenarios involving authority, domination, and rape. Clear communication on how far is too far is essential to keep role-play safe and pleasurable for both partners. Neither participant should feel uncomfortable during role-play, and this discussion helps to prevent either partner from taking things too far. One way to help role-play scenarios develop is to use masturbation. When alone, the fantasies conjured can provide ample ideas for later partner role-play (Silverberg, 2009). Once both partners are moderately comfortable with role-play and some basic scenarios, expansion into more complicated scenarios can be tackled. Complex story lines especially need to be thought out in advance, and are best executed when sufficient time can be reserved to enact them. Costumes may play a role, and can vary from a basic lab coat to denote a doctor to a full on geisha costume, complete with wig, makeup, kimono, and parasol. Again, open communication about the details of how the act is to be played out is key in making sure each partner enjoys the role-play to the fullest. As a couple moves into more intense contexts, the topic of S&M (Sadomasochism) may arise. Wanting to be dominated, bound, or engage in violent sex

Some like it rough: Just make sure your partner knows how far it too far is a common female fantasy. To engage in such a fantasy, it is important that each partner expresses how far they are willing to take the scene and what actions are and are not appropriate. When involved in such activities, each member should be attentive to the other’s reactions, and especially attuned to both the code word meaning “stop”, as well as any verbal or physical cues that may mean stop (Danoff, 2007). ** Common Role-Play Scenarios: ** Some common themes of sexual role-play include but are by no means restricted to: Age-play: One partner treats the other like they’re a different age, most commonly younger. (ex: school teacher and student) Animal-play: One partner is treated as a non-human animal (ex: dog) Master-Slave: One partner is treated as the property of the master or mistress (ex: captive slave and owner) Torturer-Captive Prisoner: One partner is a captor who ‘abuses’ the other (ex: pirate and prisoner) Kidnapped Fantasy: One partner is bound, gagged, and teased before the sexual act Authority Figure-Misbehaving Adult: One partner is an authority figure and blackmails or humiliates the other into sexual activity. Gender-Play: One partner takes on the role of the opposite sex God/Goddess Worship: One partner is seen as a deity to whom the other is a devoted follower Hospital Fantasy: Partners play doctor, nurse, or patient Rape Fantasy: One partner is coerced into an unwelcome sex act Prison Fetish: Partners act as either prisoners or guards. Frequently includes all sexual orientations Uniform Fetish: One participant dresses in a uniform while the other plays an authority figure (ex: student-teacher, cheerleader-coach, maid-employer)  (Enotes, 2011) The Naughty School Girl is a popular example of a ‘uniform fetish’ story line ** References ** Allvoices (2011). Sexual Roleplay [Image], Retrieved April 6, 2011, from: < http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7755026-sex-secrets-sexual-roleplay/image/69648340-sexual-roleplay> Amazon.com. (2010). Naughty Schoolgirl [Image], Retrieved April 6, 2011 from: []   Block, Jenny. (25 Mar. 2010). Fox on Sex: Role-Playing for Dummies - A Step-by-Step Guide to Great Sex//. // //FoxNews.com - Breaking News | Latest News | Current News//. .  Cosmopolitan. (2010) I Don't Know How to Role-play - Cosmopolitan. //Cosmopolitan//. Cosmopolitan. .   Danoff, Douglas. (4 June 2007). Sex with Someone New -- Every Night//. // // Men's Health. //   .    Rodriguez, Diana. (16 July 2009// ) //Sex Games and Role-Playing - Sexual Health Center//. //  // EverydayHealth.com //. .   Sexual Roleplay. //Enotes//. (2011).    <http://www.enotes.com/topic/Sexual_roleplay>. <span style="margin-left: .5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.5in;"> Silverberg, Cory. (19 Jan. 2009) How to Explore Fantasy Sexual Role Play – Tips on   Sexual Role Play Scenarios. Sexuality. //About Sexual Pleasure and Sexual Health//. <http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualroleplay/ht/sexfantasyroles.htm>. Sprecher, S. (2002). Sexual Satisfaction in Premarital Relationships: Associations With Satisfaction, Love, Commitment, and Stability. // Journal of Sex Research //, 39(3), 190. Retrieved from EBSCO host. The Sun. (2008). Fishnets [Image] Retrieved April 6, 2011, from: <http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/columnists/kelvin_mackenzie/article1463103.ece>