Sexual+Teasing

Melissa Ramirez

 **Sexual Teasing**

Sexual teasing is a form of flirtatious behavior that occurs between two people in order to indicate or display a sense of attraction. Two people that engage in sexual teasing often have an interest for one another that they are purposely trying to convey without obvious invitation. Sexual teasing is characterized by communication to an individual of interest and the intent to engage in sex despite having an intention to follow through. (Meston, 2007) There are many characterizations to sexual teasing and it is commonly used to flirt with a potential significant other in order to establish an attraction or relationship. **Types of Sexual Te** **asing** People engage in sexual teasing for different motivations as well as in various settings. Many times it is used by playful individuals simply awarding affectionate attention while on the other hand others u se it as a substitute to communicate romantic feelings. Sexual teasing is instigated in order to playfully confirm an interest in another person and how this is displayed varies in many different ways. It may involve prosocial components, such as humor or play, or antisocial components, such as antagonism, taunt s, or mild forms of derision. (Meston, 2007) Direct teasing behaviors include direct eye contact, movements towards partner, leg opening and expanded posture. (ex: puffing out the chest) Indirect teasing behaviors consist of coy smiles, eyebrow flashes, gaze aversion, grooming and adjusting appearance, hair flipping, lip licks and constricted posture. (Gonzaga, 2008) Direct and indirect teasing behaviors are typically used simultaneously with the addition of verbal sexual teasing, which can include praise or romantic sarcasm. Verbal sexual teasing can generally be a more straightforward tactic to initiate an attraction with a significant other. It provides a quick and evident notion of sexual communication. Teasing through body language is mor  e obscure and does not give a person immediate awareness of a sexual attraction. Sexual teasing can also occur during intimacy. This type of sexual teasing is usually performed during intercourse in order to create excitement and seduction. It also can be used to communicate arousal through teasing with body language or conversation. In an intimate setting, it is highly suggestive and will ultimately lead to sex.

**Sexual Power** Sexual and romantic teasing marks social hierarchies. (Williams, 2002) Sexual teasing encompasses a broad range of power between two people and how they communicate. Sexual teasing or provocation can be construed as a power strategy that women use against men in scripted heterosexual interactions. (Meston, 2007) W omen and men can establish their dominance in a relationship through sexual teasing. There is an aggressive approach to sexual teasing and how it is used is entirely related to the personality of an individual. It is usually practiced by confident males or females who intend to control their environment and are attempting to receive exac tly what they want by seduction. These individuals are determined and desire a dominant position in a relationship while they acknowledge an attraction with a significant other. Meston (2007) justified sexual teasing as the intention to frustrate or cause tension in the target and incorporate some use of power of one person over another. Creating sexual tension in a potential relationship gives an individual a sense of control and provides them with a sense of stability. Sexual teasing is used to maintain and police boundaries between males and females. (Williams, 2002) Maintenance of boundaries is important in order to establish power and emphasize exactly how much influence a significant other has on a relationship.

**Gender Differences**  Sexual teasing differs between males and females in order to construct a gender barrier in regards to their desires in a relationship. It is important to understand how women and men communicate about their sexual intentions with potential sex partners and the consequences associated with unclear, possibly ineffective, forms of communication. (Meston, 2007) Sexual teasing is not technically more common between either males or females, yet there have been many studies in order to conclude this. Men and women engage in teasing for similar reasons; however, women have a more sensitive approach while males tend to be more aggressive. Males engage in sexual teasing in more obvious ways than women because of their assertive personalities. Beck (2007) indicates that males are initially more comfortable with expressing their feelings through teasing rather than romance in order to prevent themselves from looking feminine. Males also find teasing in a romantic situation as a safe way to express their attractions towards a woman in order to risk facing denial. Females usually have more confidence when approaching a male therefore using sexual teasing as an act of seduction and romance. Tanner (2007) declares that girls use teasing both to mock traditional female behavior and to experiment with nontraditional gender role behavior. Females who engage in sexual teasing are attempting to experiment with a significant other in order to receive feedback and demonstrate their ability to use charm as a woman. Some argue that men and women have somewhat different priorities in their objectives for interpersonal interactions, and that teasing is more compatible with the concerns of males. (Beck, 2007) Females and males have different tactics towards approaching interpersonal interaction and sexual teasing is primarily used in order to relieve pressure from the stressful venture of a potential relationship. 

**Importance of Sexual Teasing** Sexual teasing is an important way to communicate an attraction to a significant other. Regardless of the perceived danger that may result in teasing, sexual teasin g is profoundly romantic and helpful in order to instigate a relationship. When teasing is closely examined we see how it is used to accomplish multiple peer objectives, such as strengthening female friendships, comm unicating liking to males, and experimenting with gender roles. (Tannen, 1993) Evidence of a connection in a relationship is visibly displayed when the engagement of sexual teasing is used, as well as visible playful interaction. Men may use sexual teasing in order to entice a woman into either sexual relations or an actual relationship. During intimacy, sexual teasing is important in order to sustain a sense of attraction as well as an assurance of passion. Many individuals engage in sexual teasing in order to overcome a lack of intimacy. The ability to interpret an attraction through teasing provides constant revival in a relationship as well as an initial starting point to a potential relationship.

**References**

Beck, Stephenson, Sarah Elizabeth Clabaugh, Ruth Anne Clark, etc. (2007). "Teasing Among College Men and Women." //Communication Studies// 58.2: 157-72.

"Five Ways to Tease Us: Smitten: Sex, Love & Life: Glamour.com." //Glamour Magazine//. Web. <[|__http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/04/five-ways-to- tease- us.html__]>. (Image Source)

Gonzaga, Gian, Dacher Keltner, and Daniel Ward. (2008). "Power in Mixed-sex Stranger Interactions." //Cognition & Emoti// //on// 22.8: 1555-568.

Marsh, Terry. (2008)"Teasing and Sexual Arousal: The Erotic Ride - Love Sex on Shine." //Shine// <span style="color: #0225a3; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//On- Yahoo!// < [|__http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/teasing-and-sexual-arousal-the- erotic- ride-170176__] > (Image source)

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Meston, Cindy M., and Lucia F. O’Sullivan. (2007). "Such a Tease: Intentional SexualProvocation within Heterosexual Interactions." //Archives of Sexual Behavior// 36.4: 531-42.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Moffat, Charles. (2008) "The Sex EZine." The Lilith Gallery of Toronto. <[|__http:// www.lilith- ezine.com/articles/sex/Flirting.html__]>. (Image Source)

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Tannen, Deborah. (1993) //Gender and Conversational Interaction//. New York: Oxford UP.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Williams, Christine L., and Arlene Stein. (2002) //Sexuality and Gender//. Malden, MA: Blackwell.