Relationship+Satisfaction

Katharine Starr ** Relationship Satisfaction  ** Relationship satisfaction occurs when two people, who are sexually in volved, evaluate the quality, enjoyment, and fulfillment of their relationship. Sexual-interpersonal relationships include people who are in heterosexual relationships, homosexual relationships, dating couples, and married couples. Friendships are not included in this group because they are strictly non-sexual interpersonal relationships. According to Berscheid and Peplau (1983), there are various stages in the formation of interpersonal relationships, theycan be identified a s: the beginning or development stages (e.g., attraction and dating), relational maintenance and repair (e.g., forgiveness), relational stressors (e.g., conflict and resolution), and relational termination (e.g., models of dissatisfaction). Relationship satisfaction is measured in a subjective manner. There is no right or wrong way to judge relationship satisfaction. It is based on the opinions of individuals who are involved in the relationship. Every individual in a sexual-interpersonal relationship has certain expectations of the qualities and characteristics they want their mate to have; the more favorable qualities that a mate has, the more satisfied an individual is with their relationship. The less favorable qualities a mate has, the more dissatisfied an individual is with their relationship.

Psychologists, sociologists, and scholars studying sexual communication have extensively researched relationship satisfaction. The scientific study of relationships is referred to as relationship science and distinguishes itself from anecdotal evidence by basing conclusions on data and objective analysis. Each respective field has developed their own way of measuring and interpreting relationship satisfaction.
 * The Study of Relationship Satisfaction **

Relationship satisfaction is a multifaceted topic that can be broken down into many components that can include all of these topics, but are not limited to only these topics; sexual satisfaction, physical-aesthetic satisfaction, behavioral satisfaction, emotional satisfaction, and expectation satisfaction. Each component is weighted differently depending on the individual’s expectations, needs, and opinions. Some individuals value certain aspects more than others. It simply depends on the feelings of the person.
 * Components and Measurements of Relationship Satisfaction **


 * Sexual satisfaction can be related to sexual attraction, which can be measured by the body’s physiological response to a person, such as bodily arousal (Gottman, Levenston, 1985). Sexual satisfaction can also be defined as the fulfillment of a person’s sexual needs, wants, and desires. Relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction are highly correlated (Byers, 2005).
 * Physical-aesthetic satisfaction is the measurement of how physically attractive a person finds their partner to be. This type of satisfaction looks at an individual’s physical attributes such as facial beauty, size of body parts, bodily shape, body symmetry, weight, and height.
 * Behavioral satisfaction is how pleased a person is with the way their partner acts. This can be the manner in which they conduct themselves in daily situations, the way they behave with others, and the way they behave with their partners. A partner can observe the way that they act in various situations and environments, and then decide whether they like or dislike the way they behave.
 * Emotional satisfaction is how fulfilled a person feels emotionally from their partner. Every person defines emotional satisfaction differently. The word emotional means to arouse strong feelings. The feelings may be anger, sorrow, joy, love or any of thousands of emotions that humans experience (Gladd, 2008). One of the important components of a romantic relationship is emotional expression and regulation of emotions (Fardis, 2005). Expression of emotions results in a secure relationship, suppression of emotions can lead to relationship issues. A partner’s receptiveness to expression of emotions is a large factor in rating emotional satisfaction (Fardis, 2005).
 * Expectation satisfaction develops when two individuals form a sexual-interpersonal relationship; each partner has certain expectations for the way their partner should look, act, and the way they should be treated.Expectations are different for every partner, and vary depending on the gender and type of relationship. When expectations are not met there can be fighting, anger, and resentment between partners.Individuals in the relationship can choose to try to work out their dissatisfaction or they can choose to separate.

**Dating Heterosexual Couples and Relationship Satisfaction** In the first few weeks, people who are dating have no ties or responsibilities to each other, they are in the beginning stages of sexual attraction and everything is new and exciting. During this “getting to know each other time”, they are evaluating each new thing they learn about each other. Initially, couples rate physical-aesthetic satisfaction as one of the most important elements of their relationship. Eventually, after they are dating for a long period of time, their relationship focuses less on physical-aesthetic aspects and more on non-physical attributes, such as emotional and behavioral satisfaction. Once the initial explosion sexual attraction dies out, each partner can evaluate their relationship satisfaction with less distraction are more focused on non-physical attributes. If one of the partners is dissatisfied with how the relationship is going they will end the relationship.

**Married Heterosexual Couples and Relationship Satisfaction** Most research regarding relationship satisfaction in based on married heterosexual couples. Married couples are legally committed to each other for life, until their partner dies or if they decide to get a divorce. This lifetime commitment causes partners to have to continuously work on relationship satisfaction. Gottman and Levenson (1985) used detailed observations of multiple couple’s interactions early in their marriage to predict relationship satisfaction later in their marriage. They observed a couple during positive and negative interactions and determined that it is crucial for couples to engage in more positive interactions than negative ones. Gottman and Lenevston (1985), proved that if couples who maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions are less likely to break up. Couples who engage in more negative interactions are less satisfied with their relationship, and their marriage is more likely to end in divorce (Gottman, Levenson, 1985).

**Homosexual Couples and Relationship Satisfaction** A long-term longitudinal study was performed on the relationship satisfaction and dissolution of homosexual couples that live together (Gottman et al., 2003). Three aspects of lesbian and gay male relationships were evaluated. They were perception of interaction, specific emotions, and the physiological effects. The results showed that gay couples are very empathetic towards each other and have high expectations for positive interactions. Gay couples value the use of humor to keep their partner emotionally satisfied. Differences were found between lesbians and gay males. Lesbians need to receive displays of affection to feel satisfied in their relationship; whereas, gay men need validation to feel fulfilled.

Relationships satisfaction is viewed very differently by women and men. Each gender has different qualities that make them feel satisfied with their relationship. Gender socialization and physical body differences cause men and women to have disparate relationship expectations and views on what satisfies them in their relationship. Women tend to value the importance of emotional satisfaction more than men. Men tend to value physical satisfaction more than women.
 * Gender Differences **


 * Relationship Dissatisfaction **

Relationship dissatisfaction happens when one or both individuals in a relationship are displeased or unhappy with the way their relationship is going. This dissatisfaction can occur in one or many of these areas: sexual satisfaction, physical aesthetic satisfaction, behavioral satisfaction, emotional satisfaction, and expectation satisfaction. Sexual dissatisfaction can also be unrelated to any of these components. Dating couples break up when they are not fulfilled by their relationship, because they do not have legal and societal ties. Married couples, and homosexual partnerships who are in serious committed relationships, are connected legally and by children, finances, and various other associations. When one or both partners are dissatisfied in the relationship they can go to relationship therapy to discuss their dissatisfactions. Sometimes the relationship satisfaction improves, when couples listen to each other’s needs and make changes that allow their partner to feel more satisfied. In other situations, marriages can end in divorce because partners do not listen to their partners needs or change the way they think or behave.

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 * References**

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=7. Gottman, J. M., Levenson, R. W., Gross J., Fredrickson B. L., McCoy K., Rosenthal, L., Reuf A., Yoshimoto, D. (2003). Journal of Homosexuality, Vol 45. Retrieved from http://socrates.berkeley.edu/~ucbpl/docs/70-Correlates%20of%20gay03.pdf =