Polygamy

Polygamy is an often-tabooed word throughout the United States. It is known as a marriage in which there are two or more partners. Polygamy comes in three different forms some of which are more common than others. This unusual type of marriage has an extensive history, is seen in many countries, practiced in various religions and has received much media attention today from the recent shows that have been broadcasted such as //Sister Wives// and the popular HBO series //Big Love//.
 * Polygamy **

**__History of Polygamy__** In the late 1800’s after decades of severe and growing pressure from the federal government and often-violent popular anti-Mormon sentiment, Mormons gave up polygamy, a fundamental tenet of their beliefs (Bowman, 2008). It was in 1882, Congress passed the Edmunds act, which made polygamy a federal felony and authorized disenfranchisement of Mormons (Bowman, 2008). It was very difficult for Mormons to learn going about life without polygamy since it was such an important part of their religion and practiced by many within the religion. Polygamy was a bonding ritual for many and according to Lawrence Foster’s thesis polygamy was a rite of passage, guiding the Saints through a complicated transition away from the chaos of Jacksonian America to a new and more profound social order (Bowman, 2008). While polygamy is illegal in the United States it is practiced in many countries throughout the world.

**__Forms of Polygamy__** As stated previously polygamy is a marriage in which there are two or more partners. Under polygamy there is polygyny, which is when a man has more than one wife. Polyandry is just the opposite and is when a woman is married to two or more men simultaneously. The third form associated with polygamy is known as group marriage, which is when the family unit consists of multiple husbands and multiple wives (Britannica). Over time there has been incidents of all three forms however, polygyny is the most common form. A common mistake that people make is generalizing the different forms and just refer to any of them as polygamy.

**__Polygamy Today__** It is estimated that 30,000 to 50,000 people are living the polygamist lifestyle in the United States today (Anderson, 2010). Most people throughout the country feel that polygamy is wrong and that it deprives the multiple spouses from the head of the household and makes them no longer feel adequate because alone they do not satisfy them and they are forced to compete for the main spouses affection (Shmuley, 2008). It is also argued that polygamy affects children in a negative manner as well. It offers children a model not of security but of rivalry, not of confidence but of permanent insecurity, as the members of a single household compete to be favorites (Shmuley, 2008). Despite these negativities there are still those who feel that this lifestyle is right for them. Many polygamists choose to keep their relationship unknown from the rest of the world. However, some families decide to have it known in their communities such as the Brown family on TLC’s recent show //Sister Wives//, where cameras follow the family on their struggles and triumphs while practicing polygamy. Polygamy is popular in many parts of Africa and Asia, as well as in small pockets through South America (mormon-polygamy.org, 2008).



**__Polygamy in the bedroom__** For some monogamous relationships it can be difficult to manage a sexual relationship with a partner. With polygamous relationships the main spouse has to take into consideration how he/she will equally spend time with each wife or husband. To have a better idea of how things work in a polygamous relationship let’s look at a polgynous relationship where a man has multiple wives. In this type of marriage the man gets married to his first wife. Once he meets another woman who he is interested in marrying he spends some time courting her to see if it is best for the both of them to engage in this type of relationship. If they decide that it is something that they would like to continue with then the husband presents the idea to the first wife for her opinion on the situation. When the family approves he will then “marry” the second wife. Marry is put into quote because generally the wedding of the second wife is not put on paper since polygamy is illegal in the United States, however where in countries where it is acceptable then the marriages can be legalized by the state. Any additional wives added to the family are in hierarchal order such as wife 1, wife 2, wife 3 and so on. The term generally given to the wives is “sister wives”. Generally, a polygynous family will have a schedule that is set up so the husband is spending time with each wife equally. Some families all live in one household that is split up so that each wife has her own area in the home or other families will have a home for each wife. When it comes to having children the husband has as many as him and the particular wife desire. The children from the various wives are seen as brothers or sisters regardless of which mother they come from.

**__Sexual Communication and Polygamy__** Communication is necessary in any relationship whether it be with a friend, parent, grandparent, co-worker, sexual partner, spouse or anyone in any situation. Sex is foundational in our relationships and if there is open discussion about sex in can promote sexual responsibility. In polygamous it is especially important for there to be open communication about sex since there are multiple spouses involved. The husbands and wives in either form of polygamous relationships must be open about everything since the sexual health of everyone involved with the partner needs to be taken into consideration. Not only does there need to be open communication between the spouses there needs to be open communication between the parents and the children. Parental attitudes toward their children have a strong impact on their developing sense of self and self-esteem, with parental warmth and support being key factors (Witt, 1997). Since polygamous families are so unique (in the United States) it is very important that the parents are open with the children about the differences between them and traditional families. This open communication will promote an environment where the children feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex and the various types of relationships polygamous and monogamous.

__**References**__

Anderson, Scott. "The Polygamists — National Geographic Magazine." //National Geographic Magazine//. Feb. 2010. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. .

Bowman, Matthew. "The crisis of Mormon Christology: history, progress, and Protestantism, 1880-1930." //Fides et Historia// 40.2 (2008): 1+. //Academic OneFile//. Web. 11 Apr. 2011.

"Mormon Polygamy | Mormon Polygamy." //Mormon Polygamy//. 2008. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. .

polygamy. (2011). In //Encyclopædia Britannica//. Retrieved from []

Shmuley, Rabbi. "Polygamy in Society - Oprah.com." //Oprah Winfrey's Official Website - Live Your Best Life - Oprah.com//. 3 June 2008. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. .

Witt, Susan. “Parental Influence on Children’s Socialization to Gender Roles”. 1997.

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