Born+Again+Virgin

**What is a born again virgin?** A born-again virgin is an individual that cease all sexual activities until marriage; the “born again” part refers to a someone who has lost their virginity at some point in their life, but chooses to abstain afterwards to be “born again” as a virgin. Usually when one is becoming a born-again a virgin it is culturally, religious, or personally based. In some cultures, female’s virginity is weighted two times as higher then that of a man. “Although cultural and historical attitudes toward virginity have varied widely, female virginity is much more likely to be prized and regulated. A man's loss of virginity usually is attended with pride and excitement. For girls and women, even in cultures in which premarital virginity is rare and adolescent sexual activity is common, personal and social reaction to the loss of virginity is much more likely to be ambivalent, if not negative” (Lauder, 2007). Women are expected to remain pure until marriage and once she is married she then is projected to withstand her husband’s expectations as it relates to sex, which could be viewed as the passive entity within the marriage. **How does celibacy, religion and one’s personal choice relate to being a born again virgin?** In some cases, becoming a born again virgin is related to religion but may vary amongst different religious groups. “ Sexual relationships are spiritual relationships”(Maness) In some religions such as Christianity, premarital sex is forbidden but can be restored through celibacy. “Celibacy is the voluntary renunciation of sexual activity either for a specific period or for the remainder of one's life. It differs from virginity, the biological state of never having had sexual intercourse, because one can voluntarily commit to celibacy before or after having been sexually active. (O’Neill, 2007)” Reborn virgins can also be related to one’s personal choice. In the case of one’s personal beliefs, one has decided to withdraw from sexual behavior either because of a traumatizing experiences or feeling as if one’s participation in sexual activities such as sexual intercourse has resulted in a relationship revolving solely around sexual intercourse. These traumatizing incidents can happen both in and outside of a relationship such as, rape or forceful sexual activities, which could result in the practice of celibacy or abstinence. An example of when the cost of sexual activities, such as sexual intercourse outweighs its worth is when an individual partake in sexual intercourse as a precursor to protecting one’s relationship. In some cases one’s personal choice in becoming a born-again virgin can influence one’s religious choice as well. Some believe that in order to truly commit to rebirth one has to become spiritually influenced in order to create guidance and structure within one’s lifestyle as it relates to sexual behaviors. ** Impact on a Person’s Lifestyle ** The commitment of becoming a born-again virgin can have both an internal and external impact on one’s life. According to the Encyclopedia of Sex and Gender: Culture Society History, “those who are abstinent often attempt to remove themselves from the larger social world, alter that world in an active fashion, or critique it passively. Thus, abstinence entails much more than personal sexual inaction. It can improve or alter one's personal status and perpetuate or change one's society. It also can further one's own and one's family's social, material, symbolic, spiritual, and genetic fortunes” (Bell, 2007). This example further emphasizes that it is imperative that when becoming a born-again virgin, one has to adjust their routine way of living in order to survive the process. During this process, elimination of associates that has had a negative bearing on one’s life, changing environments, and being well aware of its purpose and ending rewards is ideal. Communication with future partners is also essential if one decides to continue to date after committing to becoming a born-again virgin one needs to inform their partner in the beginning of the relationship. Some people that date is against the idea of celibacy or abstinence but others are in content with the idea. Let’s take Deborah for instance; …”Deborah is a "born-again virgin", having had sex with someone else at the age of 16. "We were intimate for about seven months, like most high school relationships," she says of her first boyfriend. "He was the only one I'd gone all the way with but the relationship changed soon after we'd started sleeping together. We started fighting and I decided I wanted to get out of it. Afterwards I was really upset with myself. My parents, who'd wanted me to wait, found out and it weighed heavily on me that I'd let them down. I decided to wait until I was married before having sex again. There were a lot of opportunities to go back on that decision but I stuck with it for six years (Batten)”. Deborah continued to date and found a young man that was for celibacy. He noted that he does not have a direct problem with the idea and respect her wishes. He himself has practice celibacy but not intentionally, he expressed that he was brought up as a Christian and he understands that the body is a temple and waiting is not an issue for him. Deborah expressed to her partner her beliefs and practices and the relationship ended up a success. Expressing one’s intentions for the relationship in the beginning is essential. ** Positive and Negative Effects ** There are both the positive and negative effects that may occur within a relationship when one decides to partake in becoming a born-again virgin. Some of the positive effects of practicing celibacy is that it helps build up the relationship without the barriers of sexual relations. Engaging in sexual relations usually complicates the relationship as a whole because the foundation of the relationship is determined by sexual behaviors. Social attraction is another positive aspect that can be contributed to a relationship; first impressions are the lasting ones. However, there are also negative effects that come with practicing celibacy or abstinence; which is heavy mate guarding, formation of secret relations with other people separate from that of the relationship and also lack of trust. These negative effects can develop instantly and over a period of time. Yet the effects mentioned are the result of having to wait to engage in sexual behavior with one’s partner due to the commitment and mentality of wanting to become a born-again virgin. ** Other Factors that Conflict the Process ** Other factors such as status claimer are the result of wanting to become a born-again virgin. When one involves oneself in the practices of celibacy by committing to the process though a physical virginity pledge, some feel the need to deny their previous sexual behaviors in hopes to refrain from cruel judgment from friend, family and even those that does not know them. Age difference also plays a significant role in the way in which admitting one’s faults as it relate to sexual activities. According to a study from the American Journal of Public Health, “younger respondents were more likely than older respondents to report risk behaviors that most likely did not occur, (n7, n12, n29) but older respondents who took virginity pledges and became "born again" were no less likely to deny or dismiss their sexual histories than younger respondents (Rosenbaum, 2006), which emphasizes that older people are more likely to dismiss sexual behavior than that of younger people when becoming a born-again virgin with the hopes of only portraying the innocent side of them and express that they are ashamed of their previous actions. In opposed to younger people who do not express shame when having to address reasons for becoming a born again virgin. This also emphasizes that age is a major factor when distinguishing one from another as it relates to reasons for becoming a born-again virgin. Religion and culture also plays a role in why becoming a born-again virgin is essential to one’s status. The value of one’s virginity, or partaking in celibacy within different cultures ranges from very important to lease important. Women virginity is sometimes viewed as more important then that of men. ** Conclusion ** A born-again virgin is an individual that pledge to refrain from engaging in sexual activities until marriage. There are surrounding factors that may conflict the process of becoming a born-again virgin. There are both positive and negative outcomes that may occur while one is partaking in the process of becoming a born again virgin. Celibacy or abstinence is key concepts to consider when discussing the topic of becoming a born again virgin. **References** Batten, R. (2004). Rise of the born-again virgin. The Sunday Times, 2. Bell, S.E.S. (2007). Abstinence. Encyclopedia of Sex and Gender: Culture Society History, 4-6. Lauder, M. (2007). Virginity. Encyclopedia of Sex and Gender: Culture Society History, 4, 1511-1514 Rosenbaum, JE. (2005). Reborn a virgin: adolescents’ retracting of virginity pledges and sexual histories. American Journal of Public Health, 96(6), 1098-1103 Maness, R. How past sexual relationships hinder you relationship with those you love. O’Neill, M. (2007). Celibacy. Encyclopedia of Sex and Gender: Culture Society History, 1, 246-251.
 * Born-Again Virgin **