The+Millionaire+Matchmaker

The Millionaire Matchmaker **History of Matchmaking ** One may remember the matchmaker from //Fiddler on the Roof// as the beginning of matchmaking, but it has been around for hundreds of years. It dates back to the time of Ashkenazi Jewish Shadchan and Hindu astrologers. In fact, the first recorded account of a match is available in the Bible for Isaac, the son of Abraham (“The History of Matchmaking”, 2011). Amongst the strictly Orthodox, searching for a marriage partner is about the extent of their dating, in contrast to modern dating. In terms of Hindu astrologers, they believe that matching horoscopes for prospective marriage partners is an effective way to find your mate. They look for the ability to maintain a relationship, overall compatibility and durability of the relationship (Dasa, 2011). The matchmakers were typically parents of the children, but now people are astrologers as a profession. Matchmaking continued to grow in popularity and led to records of a book about matchmaking exploits in 1816 ( “Record Price for inscribed Austen”, 2008). With the advent of the Internet, online dating websites promoted skilled matchmakers for a price. Browne (2011) noted, “Technology is a tool, but it is a tool that has profound effects on how and what we communicate, how fast and with whom.” This trend eventually introduced Patti Stanger, host of //The Millionaire Matchmaker//, a matchmaking service for millionaires that premiered in January of 2008 (“The Millionaire Matchmaker”, 2011). **Millionaire Matchmaker ** Patti Stanger, a third-generation matchmaker, founded the Millionaire’s Club in 2000 (Stanger, 2009). This club was one of the first of its kind, bringing wealthy men together with beautiful, eligible bachelorettes. Her motivation for creating such a club is that these men simply do not have time to court women. They are running million-dollar businesses and have often times been hurt by “gold-diggers”. Her service includes a database of over 30,000 women who can subscribe to her club for free. On the other hand, male suitors can pay upwards to tens of thousands of dollars ( [|Arastu, Blumenthal, Dutt, Forster, Hayati, & Lee,] 2008). According to her website, the price tag allows them the options of “ a leading psychologist, relationship counselor, date coach, hypnotherapist, and image consultant, as well as with a variety of top-notch personal trainers, plastic surgeons, dentists, and hairstylists” (Stanger, 2009). Stanger claims a success rate of 4/5 matches end up pursuing a long-term relationship (Stanger, 2009). The success of her dating service allowed Stanger to produce and host the modern The //Millionaire Matchmaker//. This reality show depicts millionaires and millionairesses that come to Stanger for help because they are desperate to find love. They claim they do not have time to find love, have experienced many heart breaks and many times are too socially awkward to find a good match. Stanger thrives on her client’s despair and hosts an extensive interview process with the client, evaluate potential suitors based on that client’s interests, host a mixer for the client to pick out their top two out of eight dates, and actually go on a date. A common trend between the millionaires that come on the show is that they are never the ones flawed and maintain the attitude that everyone will like them because they have money, but hate the idea of “gold diggers”. According to Stanger (2008) at the beginning of the television program she declares, “ With a little tough love, a lot of patience and an eye for chemistry, I make the right match”. It is now 2011, with the show its fourth season, Stanger continues to succeed and attract viewers and clients alike. **Actual Millionaire Matchmaker Scenario **

According to Stanger’s first novel //Become your own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting your Perfect Mate//, there is a large market for millionaires in major cities like New York and Los Angeles (Mandell & Stanger, 2009). One particular episode featured a former Eagles football player, Freddie Mitchell and an entrepreneur Stacy Kessler. Freddie Mitchell recently had his heart broken and was interested in finding a long-term relationship whereas Stacy was a repeat client who could not handle direction well and tried to go for round two. Stanger interviewed each client and coached them through some of their dating flaws. These included giving too much access to money and unwillingness to pay attention to your date. With a few pointers, the clients were unleashed to potential suitors handpicked by Stanger on account of appearance, personality and ability to hold their own against a wealthy counterpart. After mingling, the millionaires chose for themselves who they wanted to pursue a date with. All in all, the dates fell flat and both millionaires went home alone. In this modern world of dating, it seems as though “the entire process has been sped up so that courting behavior no longer functionally exists” (Browne, 2011). The effectiveness of this matchmaking system is questionable, especially when broadcasted on national television, but audiences continue to eat it up.

**Norms and Sexual Communication **

Sexual norms are learned through associations with others and experience. Stanger often refers to the lack of social skills that many of the millionaires must brush up on before they can engage in a relationship. If they can’t interact socially, how are they expected to engage physically? In the above example, Mitchell had concerns during his interview with Stanger about when it was okay to have sex. Stanger explained it was only acceptable after they were in a relationship. In Kessler’s case, her date ended abruptly because her date was not sexually attracted to her after she showed a lingerie video during their first meeting. It seems as though they had trouble communicating their desires and interests when it came to physicality and this ultimately ended their time together. The notion that “dating has changed. Marriage is changing. Gender roles are changing. There are now more single people living by themselves than ever before in the history of the world” was instilled by Browne (2011). Expressions of sexuality are becoming deemed more acceptable in society, but within reason and with the appropriate audience. The onslaught of singletons in the United States is increasing may be on account of sex in the media. **Media Influence ** Research conducted by Browne concluded “television shows in the 21st century have significantly changed the dating landscape since popular notions perpetuated by the media, while originally fantasies have a strange habit of morphing into our shared reality” (2011). //The Millionaire Matchmaker// is a prime example. The idea of meeting a millionaire and pursuing a relationship with them seems as though it appeals to many candidates for clients on the show. Although they want to find love as well, exposure on television and money has to factor into their decision making when joining the service. In fact, modern television has the opportunity to change viewer’s perception of the dating world. Browne proposed “Millionaire Matchmaker has not only made dating a blood sport but convinced the viewing public that hot tubs and serial necking in front of a TV camera are normal aspects of dating. (2011). When it comes to real dating, viewers may not be able to get farther than a first date on account of high expectations and media-driven behaviors. **References ** (2011). //The Millionaire Matchmaker: Bios//. Retrieved from http://www.bravotv.com/the- millionaire-matchmaker/season-4/bios Arastu S., Blumentha D., Dutt S., Forster K., Hayati C., & Lee P. (2011). Money of Love. //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Department of Anthrology //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">, 1-19. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Browne, J. (2011). Thoroughly Modern Dating. Dating. Retrieved from <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">http://media.wiley.com/product_data/excerpt/56/04708920/0470892056-130.pdf <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Dasa, S. (2011). //Vedic Astrology Matchmaking Charts//. Retrieved from <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">http://shyamasundaradasa.com/jyotish/services/explanation_services/matchmaking.html <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Mandell, L., & Stanger, P. (2009). //Become your own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting// //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">your Perfect Mate. //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> New York, NY: Atria Paperback. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Millionaire Matchmaker Cast. [Image]. Retrieved from <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">http://videosonar.com/2/tag/%20patti%20stanger.html <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Record price for Inscribed Austen. //BBC News//. Retrieved from <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7470543.stm <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Stanger, P. (2009). //Millionaires Club//. Retrieved from <span style="color: windowtext; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">[] <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">The History of Matchmaking. //Matchmaker me//. Retrieved from <span style="color: windowtext; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">[] <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">The Millionaire Matchmaker. [Image]. Retrieved from <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">[]