Virginity+in+America

Lauren Pena

 **Virginity in America**

**History of Changing Views of Virginity in America** In the United States, there have been many different meanings assigned to virginity and experiencing loss of virginity throughout history. Although the loss of virginity has universally accepted as an important transition from childhood into adulthood, opinions and views about the meaning of and criteria for loosing ones virginity has experienced an abundant amount of change. Around the nineteenth century in the United States, “Virginity implied purity and innocence from sexual experience and desire, and was seen as a natural and necessary state for unmarried women” (Carpenter, 2001, p. 128). Loosing ones virginity meant loosing ones innocence entirely, and if it took place outside of a marriage, an onset of moral corruption, insanity, and even death were to follow. During the beginning of the 1900s, there were new ways of looking at virginity loss due to the changes occurring regarding actual sexual conduct. During this time, traditionally, young women believed their virginity was something that should be maintained at all costs until marriage. On the other hand, men tended to see their virginity as less important and more stigmatizing, and most sought to lose it before marriage. From about 1920 and on, young people increasingly wanted to engage in pre marital sex and lose their virginity before marriage, but typically with the person they planned to marry. This pattern changed drastically during the 1960s. Many major social changes occurred during the 1960s and 70s such as, the gay rights movement, the feminists movement, and freedom in sexualization (Carpenter, 2002). Many young people during this time engaged in pre-martial sex, and this transformation was especially apparent for women because ideally women were supposed to be less permissive than men. Both men and women began to engage in sexual intercourse with partners they did not intend to marry. Many studies done during these two decades found that women, while sexually experimenting more often, continued to value their virginity and, “Predicate sexual activity on love and committed romantic relationships” (Carpenter, 2002, p. 346). Men continued to express their dislike for protecting their virginity, and engaged in sexual activity primarily out of a desire for sexual pleasure. Most men were open to the idea of casual sex without a long term commitment. When loosing their virginity, many studies of these two decades found that women often reported feeling disappointed when the experience failed to live up to their expectations of a romantic fantasy. In contrast, men compared the loss of their virginity to a rite of passage into manhood and emphasized themes such as physical performance, which were often invisible in most women’s accounts of their first time. As the late 1980s and the early 1990s approached, “Researchers found a growing number of young women perceiving virginity as neither desirable nor undesirable, and a minority of women even approaching virginity loss with eagerness and curiosity, expressing a desire to “get it over with,” or seeing virginity as embarrassing or constraining” (Carpenter, 2002, p.347). During this time, there was an increase in gender similarities regarding views of virginity, and loosing ones virginity became less stigmatizing, especially for women.

**What Constitutes Sex and Virginity Loss in America** Today, concern with identifying what specifically is needed to result in loss of virginity appears to be a popular phenomena. Before the twentieth century, virginity loss was assumed to stem from vaginal intercourse, but not from “partnered sexual activities such as manual stimulation” (Collins, 2001, p.19). Attempts to establish criteria for virginity loss began as early as the 1830s, “ With the invention of petting- noncoital sexual contact intended not to compromise premarital virginity” (Carpenter, 2001, p. 129). It was not until the late 1920s that forms of engaging in genital pleasure without penetration became widespread. In contemporary and popular literature, virginity loss refers to the first time experiencing sexual intercourse and vaginal penetration, but despite the apparent consensus, the definition of virginity seems somewhat ambiguous. In one study done by Berger and Wenger (1973), that investigated how males and females define virginity, “Only four-fifths of respondents agreed that a woman would lose her virginity if her vagina was fully penetrated by a penis” (p. 670). There is also debate focusing on definitions of sex. For example, teenagers in Britain use the term sex to refer to vaginal-penile intercourse. However, in the United States, many teenagers tend to include oral sex and anal sex in the actual definition of sex (Berger & Wenger, 1973). In light of the confusion surrounding the definition of sex, it seems that defining loss of virginity as the first time a male and a female engage in sexual intercourse might be straightforward, but this is not appropriate once one considers the many alternatives that might be included in the definition.



**Gender Power Relations Regarding Virginity in America** There is an attachment of various meanings to virginity and sexual activity from different groups and individuals. Today, many young women tend to feel sexual desire in adolescence, but are afraid to act on these inclinations. Many studies have shown a tendency of, “Women to be disempowered relative to men” (Carpenter, 2001, 129). Young women might feel trapped by their boyfriends who pressure them for sex, and a contradictory feeling might arise in which they feel obligated to satisfy their boyfriend, but also feel compelled to remain a virgin. While most young men tend to feel empowered by virginity loss, young women do not employ sexual agency often. For females, the variable concept of virginity can serve various purposes. For example, a woman can use her virginity to entice a male to some critical point while still using the ideology behind virginity for denying him sexual intercourse. For males, the ideology behind virginity can also serve some important purposes. For example, a young man who is a virgin can maintain an illusion of being sexually dominant while not having to explicitly engage in sexual intercourse (Berger & Wenger, 1973). For male and female adolescents and young adults, sex is an emotional experience, and it can become an even more emotional and psychological experience if one feels pressured to lose their virginity. The average age a male looses their virginity is placed around 17 years of age, while females tend to lose their virginity at 17.3 years of age. Among these teenagers, nearly one-third of females report wishing they had waited to lose their virginity, or had mixed feelings about loosing their virginity. Males and females experience sex differently, but those who experience sex for the first time at a younger age run the risk of experiencing psychological effects, along with pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (Collins, 2001).

**Reasons for Choosing Virginity in America** According to popular media, America is experiencing a sexual retro-revolution in which maintaining ones virginity is seen as a more acceptable choice among men and women. Sprecher and Regan (1996), sought to focus on a group of individuals who had not engaged in sexual intercourse, and to explore if there were any gender differences when choosing to stay a virgin. They found that there is an enormous amount of evidence implying that most women abstain from sexual intercourse due to a lack of a loving relationship or a committed partner, fear of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, and religious beliefs. This finding coincides with the idea that many women tend to associate sexual activity with a partner they love or are in a committed relationship with. Male virgins were more likely to report reasons having to do with insecurity and deficiency for being a virgin. Male virgins were more likely than female virgins to report that they would feel satisfaction if they started having sex, and a greater proportion of male virgins were frustrated with their status as a virgin than female virgins. The least important reason for abstaining from sexual intercourse in males and females was because of the lack of desire for sex. These authors also distinguish the difference between adamant virgins and non virgins, which aids in identifying the varying reasons for abstaining from sexual intercourse. According to Sprecher and Regan (1996), “Adamant virgins have decided that they will not engage in premarital sexual intercourse, whereas potential non virgins are willing to consider pre-marital sex should they find themselves in the right situation with the right partner” (p. 6). Whatever the reason may be for abstaining from sex, both male and female virgins reported feeling pressure from friends and dating partners to engage in sexual activity (Sprecher & Regan, 1996).



**References**

Berger, D.G., & Wenger, M.G. (1973). The ideology of virginity. //Journal of Marriage and Family, 35(4),// 666-676. Carpetnter, L.M. (2001). The ambiguity of “having sex”: The subjective experience of virginity loss in the United States. //The Journal of Sex Research 38(2),// 127-139. Carpenter, L. M. (2002). Gender and the meaning and experience of virginity loss in the contemporary United States. //Gender and Society 16(3),// 345-365. Collins, J. A. (2001). Virginity lost and found. //America,// 18-21. Sprecher, S., & Regan, P.C. (1996). College virgins: How men and women perceive their sexual status. //The Journal of Sex Research 33(1),// 3-15.