Sex+and+Gender


 * Sex and Gender **


 * Sex Vs. Gender**

Sex and gender are often used interchangeably, but from a sexual communication standpoint, they are actually very different from each other. One’s sex refers to their biological makeup, it is inherent and one is born a certain sex. Gender is a psychological thing. It is a learned, self-identifying choice the people make. One’s sex can be determined by their anatomy, but gender is a much more complex process.


 * Sexual Communication affects Gender**

One’s gender is largely affected by sexual communication. Children start taking in information about gender from a very early age, and this information gets turned into ideas as to what it means to be a guy to “be a man” or for a girl to be “girly.” A child's earliest exposure to what it means to be male or female comes from parents (Lauer & Lauer, 1994; Santrock, 1994; Kaplan, 1991). This begins as soon as the baby puts on either a pink or blue blanket in the hospital. If it’s a boy, they are put in a baby blue blanket, and when they arrive at home, the room will be painted according to what are “acceptable” colors for a newborn boy (blue, green, red). This continues with the gender specific toys that infants are given. This gender stereotyping is so strong that there is “awareness of adult sex role differences being found in two-year-old children”(Weinraub et al., 1984). Children even deny the reality of what they are seeing when it does not conform to their gender expectations, such as a child believing only men are doctors even if that child’s mother is a doctor (Sheldon, 1990).


 * Early Years Shape Gender**

Gender is also molded by different chores and room layouts that children have. A study of children's rooms showed that girls' rooms have more pink, dolls, and manipulative toys. On the other hand, boys' rooms tend to have more blue, sports equipment, tools, and vehicles (Pomerleau, Bolduc, Malcuit, & Cossette, 1990). It’s clear why most college aged guys are interested in cars and sports, while most college girls are interested in going to the salon, shopping and comparing different outfits with friends. There is also a difference in chores amongst boys and girls. are more likely to have maintenance chores around the house, such as painting and mowing the lawn, while girls are likely to have domestic chores such as cooking and doing the laundry (Basow, 1992).
 * Costs and Benefits**

There are costs //and// benefits to gender role stereotypes. The main benefits are a sense of security and it can help advance decision-making. When stuck between two seemingly positive options, following the choice that adheres to gender roles is sometimes a way to finally come to a decision. Some of the costs are limiting opportunities, ignoring talent, and perpetuating unfairness in our society (Beal, 1994). The truth is, there are many jobs that can be done by either a male or female, but history has created a false sense of what positions are appropriate for a male or a female. Pilots, for example, require no skills that a woman couldn’t do just as well as a man, yet when people think of a pilot, it is usually a man, and the woman take the role of flight attendants.


 * Gender & Sexual Communication**

Not only does sexual communication affect gender, but one’s gender also influences how they go about sexual communication. “Not only can topics of conversation be socially defined as more or less appropriate for a speaker according to his or her sex, but men and women can also differ systematically in terms of the phrases and words they us” which is problematic since it can “lead to a lack of the common forms of expression that are needed for effective communication (Marston, 2004). It is known that communication is a complex process, but sexual communication is even more complicated. There is often confusion as to what to expect when non-married couples get intimate. For example, a phenomenon termed ‘‘scripted refusal’’ by Muehlenhard and McCoy (1991) explains how women sometimes are pressured to say “no” even when they really mean “yes.” The fact that this type of communication exists makes consent very difficult to assess. This is just one example of many differences in sexual communication between different genders. Another example of differences amongst genders would be the use of swear words in speech. Men are supposed to be aggressive and powerful while women are expected to be passive and fragile. This creates an idea that it’s acceptable for men to use obscene language while it is frowned upon for women ( Lindsey & Zakahi, 1998 ). Another issue that is common among sex and gender are naming practices. It has been traditionally the norm for women to change their last name when they get married (although it is now becoming more common for women to keep their last name or hyphenate). For a man, it would be seen as unmanly to change their name to the woman’s last name.


 * Gender in Mexico **

In Mexico, gender and sexual communication go hand in hand playing a huge role in determining a man’s status. Men are expected to be “Macho,” or masculine, and a large part of this comes from one’s knowledge about sex. “Experience of sexual intercourse is highly valued and the purpose of men’s stories of their sexual experiences appears often to be for the teller to gain status by making his experiences public.” During these conversations it’s likely-and expected- that the man will use obscene language to describe physical aspects of the stories. Using a large collection of sexual vocabulary, men are able to describe stories where woman are usually portrayed as sexual objects. However, men who were interviewed claim to dislike when women use obscene language (Marston, 2004).


 * Theories of Gender**

There are a few theories for why these gender differences have been embedded in our society. The first is male dominance theory, which states that since men have historically held more power in society, men may try to dominate women- especially in conversation. The second theory is different cultures theory. Since boys and girls grow up in segregated playgroups, different rules and norms are developed. For boys, these norms value hierarchy, power, and competitiveness while girls learn to share, cooperate and develop relational harmony. Different skills theory states that women and men do not different in values; rather they possess different skills which may cause differences in behavior. For example, men may believe being a good supportive listener is important, but their lack of skill for that may hinder them from showing such behavior. Theory four, minimal differences theory, states that men are much more similar than different and when differences arise, it’s because of something other than sex. The fifth and final theory is social roles theory. This theory explains gender roles that have developed regarding what behaviors are expected of men and women. Again, men are expected to be masculine and tough, while women are supposed to be sensitive and fragile (Bond, 2011).

Basow, S. A. (1992). Gender stereotypes and roles, 3rd ed. Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole. Beal, C. (1994). Boys and girls: The development of gender roles. New York: McGraw-Hill. Bond, B. (2011, February 21). //Lecture on gender & communication.// Urbana, IL: University of Illinois. Kaplan, P. (1991). A child's odyssey. St. Paul: West Publishing Company. Lauer, R. H, & Lauer, J. C. (1994). Marriage and family: The quest for intimacy. Madison: Brown & Benchmark. Marston, C. (2004). Gendered communication among young people in Mexico: Implications for Sexual Health Interventions. Social Science & Medicine 59 (2004) 445–456 Pomerleau, A, Bolduc, D., Malcuit, G., & Cossette, L. (1990). Pink or blue: Environmental gender stereotypes in the first two years of life. Sex Roles, 22, 359-367. Santrock, J. (1994). Child development, 6th ed. Madison: Brown & Benchmark. Sheldon, A. (1990). "Kings are royaler than queens": Language and socialization. Young Children, 45, 4-9. Twinkling Wishes. (2007). http://www.twinklingwishes.co.uk/ Weinraub, M., Clemens, L. P., Sachloff, A., Ethridge, T., Gracely, E., & Myers, B. (1984). The development of sex role stereotypes in the third year: Relationships to gender labeling, gender identity, sex-typed toy preferences, and family characteristics. Child Development, 55, 1493-1504. Witt, S. (1997). Parental Influence On Children’s Socialization To Gender Roles. Adolescence.
 * //References//**