Internet+Dating

Kelly Boyle = Internet Dating =

**Overview** In our society today there are so many ways and mediums through which individuals can socialize. Growing along with social networks are Internet sites where individuals can initiate and grow romantic relationships. Internet dating is the process of developing a romantic relationship by posting your personal information to the web. Early research on the topic in the late 1980s and early 1990s concluded that online dating is more shallow and impersonal than ‘real,’ face-to-face relationship building. Since then more current research has shown that these two types of dating are valued more evenly among the public. One study reported that the same ideals and personalities valued in face-to-face relationships are also valued in online relationships (DeVoss, 2007). For many users the ability to remain in the privacy of your own home is one of the main selling points of online dating.

**History of Internet Dating** Match.com led the way for the formation of other Internet dating sites by launching its relationship services in April 1995. As a product of Classified Inc., Match.com allows those 18 and older with an email account to post their personal information on the web for other users to see and to search for individuals based on their own posted information (Krieger, 1995). Match.com now services 24 countries and territories with sites in 15 different languages and is one of the leading online dating services (“About Match.com,” 2011). Not too long after Match.com was launched and its success was extremely visible, Dr. Neil Clark Warren and Dr. Galen Buckwalter launched eHarmony in 2000. eHarmony’s matchmaking process is based on scientific research and pairing through its patented Compatibility Matching Service, which uses a thorough personal questionnaire to efficiently match you with a compatible mate. It is now the #1 Trusted Relationship Services Provider in the USA, according to a 2009 U.S. survey conducted for eHarmony by Harris Interactive (eHarmony, 2011). In 2006 the government passed the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA). This act was put in place to address concerns of domestic violence against noncitizens married or engaged to U.S. citizens. It was enacted to solve the issue of “mail order brides,” international women coming to the United States to marry men and were thought to be more than indentured servants, sometimes even sex slaves. The law prohibits international marriage brokers from releasing information to their users of anyone younger than 18 years old. It also requires the brokers to take some responsibility when matching their clients. For example, brokers must search their clients in sexual offender registries, interview them about their marriage and relationship history, and then provide this information to women in their native language (Merritt, 2010). IMBRA makes communication through Internet dating sites safer and more reliable for their users.

**Problems of Internet Dating** People using online dating sites open themselves up to being a victim of various issues such as identity theft and fraud. Many people participating in online dating encounter a great amount of deception from the people they interact with. On the Internet people are able to lie about practically every aspect of their personal lives, including their real name, family background, and educational or income status (McQuade, 2011). Many people do this in order to make themselves seem more attractive or likable to others. Spitzberg (2007) stated, “For example, males will tend to emphasize their status characteristics, whereas females will tend to emphasize their youth and physical attractiveness so as to appeal optimally to the presumed goals of the intended target audience” (p. 127). This is one of the unfortunate aspects of online dating since many question if a serious, committed relationship can be built around false information and identities. According to Spitzberg (2007) stalking, another negative aspect of social interaction, “is an intentional process of persistent and threatening pursuit, intrusion, and harassment” (p. 127). A major misconception is that stalking involves a crazed or psychotic person, but in fact the majority of the time the stalking stems from a previous acquaintance. And about half the time it results from a past romantic relationship. Related to stalking is the process of obsessive relational intrusion, which involves the unwanted pursuit of intimacy with someone (Spitzberg, 2007). This is another negative consequence of using online dating sites. Many singles using Internet dating services have encountered issues of discrimination, especially towards homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgendered individuals. A lesbian woman in Northern California sued eHarmony in 2007 because the service only offered to find matches for heterosexual individuals. The lawsuit claimed the company was violating a state law prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation (MacMedan, 2007). In March 2009 eHarmony launched Compatible Partners, an online dating service for gay and lesbian individuals using eHarmony’s patented matching technology (eHarmony, 2009). Although Compatible Partners caters to gay and lesbian singles it continues to exclude bisexual individuals from its services.

**Virtual Dating** Virtual dating consists of creating an avatar on virtual dating sites such as OmniDate or Second Life and enacting dating situations and relationship building through the use of avatars. On these sites the avatars go on dates in which the can get to know each other. There is a variety of actions they can choose to play out, such as holding hands, and kissing. If the couple gets along well they can choose to meet in person for a ‘real’ date. Virtual dating gives couples the opportunity to explore a relationship in a more comfortable, safe environment (Bland, 2009). Bland (2009) quoted Dan Airely of Duke University in his article, “Virtual dating doesn't create these unrealistic expectations based on ambiguous profile postings. It’s like getting to take a bite of an apple, instead of having someone tell you what an apple is supposed to taste like.”

**Today’s Internet Dating Sites** Internet dating sites began as ways for all heterosexual singles, over the age of 18 with an email account, to meet individuals also looking for a romantic relationship. They mainly continue to be used this way, but there has also been in increase in dating sites that are geared towards more specific sub-cultures. For example, Purrsonals.com is “The Cat Lovers Social Network” where you can meet other cat lovers. On VeggieDate users, who must be vegetarian or vegan, are able to meet others that share their same lifestyle.

**References**
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