Online+Hookups

Kristen Klootwyk ** Online Hookups  ** An online hookup entails meeting an individual online, often times through a casual dating site. Those involved in online hookups search these casual dating sites to find people that have similar tastes, connect on a personal level with, or are simply attracted to the other. This pair will then meet in a public location, one another’s homes, or a hotel. They will proceed to “hookup” or have sexual relations. After their meeting the pair decides whether they were unsuccessful, or found someone that they would be willing to spend the night/day with again. These meetings are for the most part “no strings attached” and solely for the opportunity to have sexual relations.

** Safety Comes First ** When involved in an online hookup, the consequences are often unknown. In Nakamura and Schwartzman’s (2010) article, it discusses three main rules when it comes to online hookups: let someone know where you are headed, don’t let them pick you up at home, and meet somewhere public. But as the article says, “People break the rules.” In reference to sex and dating services, the article says “violent crimes are rare compared to the number of people who use sex and dating services (Nakamura et al. 2010).” Violent crimes are low compared to the vast amount of people that actively participate in the services. Dee Leander, manager at Nevada-based service Ripple Communications, says that she instructs those who use the service to “never, ever, ever, ever” meet anyone that they contact through her service. She says “People are people, and they do what they want to do. There are many good stories…Once a year there is something bad. I’ve had at least two cases this year (Nakamura et al. 2010).” As Leander discusses, there are many successful online hookup stories in comparison to the few unsuccessful and even tragic stories that come up. It is important to be safe and responsible when meeting someone from the internet. People are not always who they appear to be online. It is easy to lie through communication on the internet. ** Sextortionist ** In 2009, an 18-year-old high school boy named Anthony Stancl from Milwaukee, WI was put on trial for being a “sextortionist” (Stingl 2009). This term refers to the male student posing as a female student, sextortion. Stancl convinced 31 boys from his high school via Facebook that he was a female classmate interested in them. He persuaded every one of them to send a naked picture of themselves, promising them one in return. Stingl (2009) says that Stancl then proceeded to threaten them, saying the pictures would be exposed to the school and on the internet unless they had sex with a male. All the victims complied, for fear of being exposed. While Stancl took advantage of these males, he was also filming and taking photos, even further humiliating them. With sexting being such a popular activity in recent years, talking to children about who they are sending pictures of themselves to is very important. ** E-Card Warnings ** David Tuller (2009) wrote of a San Francisco man named Steve, a health care worker in his 30s, who received an anonymous E-card that told him he may have been exposed to syphilis by one of his previous male hookups. Steve remained calm, for this was not the first time he had been exposed to a sexually transmitted infection. As Tuller (2009) writes, Steve says “What was important was that I was being notified that there was a possibility that I may have been exposed to syphilis.” New York City and 11 other cities and 10 states worked with inSPOT, the company that notified Steve.

InSPOT is an online partner notification system that was started in 2004 because of the rise in Internet use for men who have sex with men, and the rise in syphilis statistics for that particular group. These men would tell their partners and those they saw everyday about their various diseases, but would not touch base with past partners. They said, “If there was an easy and convenient way to do it, we would (Tuller 2009).” This free, anonymous service allows users to choose the disease involved and includes links to public health sites. It is meant to prevent the spread of diseases as well as promote safe sex.

** Justice ** Owen Sinclair is an example of an online hookup ending poorly. This New Yorker was arranging meetings online with a 16-year-old girl at a local motel. As Joseph Mallia (2008) discussed in the article, a police officer on a routine patrol saw Sinclair in the parking lot of the motel with the girl. She is a minor and considered a victim of a sex crime. It is unknown whether either party was lying online about their age online before they met. As Mallia (2009) says, according to the New York state law, it is considered third-degree rape for having sexual intercourse with someone younger than 17 by someone who is at least 21. ** Exposure Experiment ** In 2006, a man named Jason Fortuny performed an experiment on Craigslist.com in the Seattle area. He wanted to see how many responses he would receive within 24 hours of posting an ad for “submissive woman looking for aggressive dom” and a gynecological picture (Chonin 2006). Over that 24-hour period he received 178 replies which included real names, phone numbers, face pictures, and penis pictures. Fortuny then made all of these names, addresses, and photos public when he posted on the Encyclopedia Dramatica wiki site. At least one of the exposed men threatened legal action and a beat down. As Chonin (2006) concludes in the article, “on the Internets, nothing is private”, and public exposure is a weapon. ** How to: Hook up and get laid online ** Step 1: Review the best and worst sites. Pick the best hookup sites Step 2: Create a great profile. Choose the right pictures, what to write, and why. Step 3: Contact and flirt. How to introduce yourself. How to make her meet you. Step 4: Meet and charm. Where to take her. What to say on date #1. Step 5: Seal the deal. Sure signs of success. How to close the deal. -Links to a more in-depth description of these tips and reviews to online hookup sites located at []. Online Hookup reviews include sites like SexSearch.com, GetItOn.com, AdultFriendFinder.com, PassionSearch.com, HornyMatches.com…the list goes on. ** References ** Chonin, Neva. “Sex and the city.” San Francisco Chronicle (CA), 09/17/2006. Accession Number: 9YQ0496040776. Online newspaper source.

Mallia, Joseph. “Oceanside man charged with rape in Internet hookup.” Newsday, (Melville, NY), 12/31/2008. Accession Number: 2W61201818950. Online Article.

Nakamura, David and Paul Schwartzman. “Millions participate in web of cybersex services, experts say.” The Washington Post. 05/05/2010. ISSN: 0190-8286. Online newspaper source.

Stingl, Jim. “Time for that “sextortion” talk with your teen.” Milwaukee   Journal Sentinel, The (WI), 02/08/2009. Accession Number: 2W62W63235776531. Online newspaper source.

Tuller, David. “After hookups, E-cards that warn, “get checked.” The New York Times. 1/19/2009. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/20/health/20partners.html_r=1

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Image 1: “Find My Date”: [] Image 2: “I’m So Sorry”: [|www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2009/01/20/health/20part.ready.html]