Sex+&+Buddhism

Danielle Kot **Sex and Buddhism** **History of Buddhism**

The founder of Buddhism was Siddhartha Gautama also known as “the Buddha”, a man born in 563 BCE in a town called Lumbini near the Indian and Nepalese border. Growing up in a life of luxury and privilege, Siddhartha’s quest to find truth and liberation began at the age of twenty-nine when he removed himself from his status, family, home, pleasure and privilege in order to lead the life as a wanderer. Upon reaching Enlightenment at the age of thirty-five he spent the rest of his life attempting to communicate the insight he had gained into the nature of the human condition. Buddhism centers on this insight he obtained about the continually transforming awareness of the world along with the people in this world that is the complete formation of //prajna// or wisdom. The Path to Awakening is achieved through a complete dismissal of attachment, //tanha// (cravings), desires, and pleasure so that a person can reach Nirvana or that final stage of Enlightenment that Siddhartha reached so many years ago (Skilton, 1994). //Dukkha//, which is the

feeling of frustration or dissatisfaction with life, is rooted within our attachments and desires, and the more self-control a person can obtain, the less that person will suffer from this //dukkha.// The Buddha’s teachings sought to reach a goal of liberation from an unsatisfactory life controlled by desires (Walshe, 1986).

**Buddhist Beliefs About Sex** To Buddhists, sex is communicated as neither good nor bad but rather as an expression of //tanha// that leads to //dukkha// which can potentially block the Path to Enlightenment (Walshe, 1986). The ultimate goal of any Buddhist is to bring about complete cessation of cravings, and with regards to sexual intercourse this means seeking a level of control over our own sexual desires in order to prevent attachment (Numrich, 2009). For Buddhists, this type of control is typically gained through //samatha// or meditation practice, which enables them to still their mind from their own constant desires. Instead of communicating abstinence as many other religions do, Buddhists communicate mindfulness, in body, feelings, states of mind, and mind-contents (Walshe, 1986). One must be aware that sexual intercourse involves two people, and so in this respect it is Buddhists first rule to act responsibly as well as compassionately rather than passionately. If this is not done, the emotional and physical consequences may lead to suffering, which is exactly what every Buddhist is trying to prevent. Buddhists teach that this type of reckless sexual intercourse can cause harm to others, bring unwanted children into the world, and toy with people’s emotions, all of which may cause unnecessary suffering (Walshe, 1986).

**Lay Buddhists vs. The Bhikkhu** Sexual ethics and communication between lay Buddhists and a bhikkhu, or fully-ordained monk, are held to different standards. A bhikkhu holds himself to the strictest rules of conduct in order to come closest to attaining Enlightenment. There are four basic rules, and failure to meet them is termed //Parajika// or “Defeat”, with the first rule focusing on sex. Any bhikkhu that succumbs to sex is expelled from the Order, complete sexual abstinence is required of these fully-ordained monks (Numrich, 2009). In comparison, a lay Buddhist maintains a different set of standards, maintaining in the Buddhist view that there is nothing particularly sinful or wicked about sex (Walshe, 1986). In fact, some hold an “ideology of transgression” believing that if sexual behavior serves a greater ethical purpose, such as showing compassion to others, one can transgress any obstacles towards liberation. In addition, by experiencing sex, one may be able to transcend sexual desire by directly seeing how unsatisfactory it is (Numrich, 2009). Lay Buddhists recognize that it is important to do one’s best in maintaining a certain level of restraint in regards to sex because it is good to do (Walshe, 1986). Overall, lay Buddhists do not advocate for either extreme of permissiveness or strict Puritanism when it comes to sex, but instead look to find a healthy middle way that can maintain a sense of balance.

**Sex and Buddhism in Modern American Society** Buddhism didn’t arrive in America until 1893, when one of the first national public presentations about Buddhism was given in Chicago with the World’s Parliament of Religions. Buddhism can be found around the world, with each location typically creating a varying form of Buddhism that was originally created by Siddhartha Gautama (Smith, 2006). While Buddhism understands the human condition and strives to remove sensual desires, many of the modern reproductive health issues have left this religion without ethical precedents (Kaza, 2004). In America, time has changed the way society views and communicates about sex, for instance, more and more individuals are beginning to have sex before marriage, sex-equality is increasing, and people are beginning to have sex at younger ages. In America, Buddhism has also begun to change with modern society finding their own ethical precedents for issues such as artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization and contraception (Kaza, 2004). Lay Buddhists do not feel the need to interfere with those people that choose to use contraceptives, however bhikkhus usually declare contraceptives as wrong and believe they should be banned (Numrich, 2009). Abortion is a different matter though, since this decision takes a life, interfering with Buddhists practice of compassion and non-injury towards others (Walshe, 1986). In Buddhism, marriage does not have a sacramental connotation like it does in Christianity and so these types of ceremonies are viewed as civil matters. In the past among Buddhists, pre-marital sex was seen as appropriate only for men however over time, sex-equality has now made it acceptable among women practicing Buddhism as well (Kaza, 2009). Today, younger adults are being exposed to sex in almost every aspect of their lives: television, movies, songs, etc. Many Buddhists in America have voiced their opinions about this intense over-stimulation of sexual desires understanding that it makes those practicing the religion more susceptible to indulging into attachments instead of maintaining a sense of restraint. It is only through this control that Buddhists can obtain a life without sexual desire and attachment.

 Works Cited Kaza, S. (2004) Finding safe harbor: Buddhist sexual ethics in America. //Buddhist-Christian Studies,// 24, 23-35. Numrich, P. D. (2009) The problem with sex according to Buddhism. //Journal of Theology,// 48(1), 62-73. Skilton, A. (1994) //A concise history of buddhism//. Guildford, Surrey: Windhorse Publications. Smith, B. G. (2006) Buddhism in America: An analysis of social receptivity. //Contemporary Buddhism,// 7(2), 149-164. Walshe, M. (1986) //Buddhism and Sex.// Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society. Image by Pure Land Buddhism. http://www.purelandbuddhism.com/amitabha.JPG